I made an impulse buy of a $30 Elvis suit 3 weeks before leaving Australia in Jan 2008 to travel for a year.
It's crap....and now it's coming with me.
I don't sound like Elvis, look like Elvis, or sing like Elvis.
I am Crap Elvis.


World trip montage - Crap Elvis in 25 countries

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Crapstonbury: Crap Elvis at Glastonbury

If you were asked if you'd be interested in living in a tent for 4 days, with your neighbours 3 cms away, no showers, loud music surrounding you 24 hours a day, toilets that should be in an exhibition of 'how people lived 200 years ago', 90% chance of rain depsite it being Summer, 10% chance of your tent being washed away in a mudbath, and a 100% chance wellies will be the only footwear you'll need.....of course you'd be an absolute idiot to say yes.

Oh yeah, and it will cost you 160 quid. Certified nutter to say yes at that point.

However call it The Glastonbury Festival and chuck on a stupidly huge lineup of bands from all over the world....yes please.

A cutting edge, world beating lineup which included Shakin Stevens, Neil Diamond, The Proclaimers and James Blunt.

Hang on, let me try that again (despite the above being true). A cutting edge, world beating lineup which included among the 100s of acts: Kings of Leon, The Verve, Franz Ferdinand, Groove Armada, Mark Ronson, and Estelle. Everyone from A to (Jay) Z

Most offensive group name was hard-fought, with in my opinion, Holy F**k being edged out by the more creative F**k Knuckle and the Bastards.

Wearing a $30 Elvis suit made me one of the most normal looking people there, with others dressed as fairies, milk bottles, superheros, including multiple piercings, brandings, tattoos...and that was just the security guards.

Obviously wanting to be as green a festival as possible, organisers put together a "green police" to clamp down on people publicly weeing in bushes and trees and chucking litter on the ground.

But rather than use the fine system as the normal world would, in the land of Glastonbury, once the Green Police spot someone having a cheeky open-air toilet session, they all gather round and blow whistles and jeer and generally draw attention to that person. Seems to work. Now if only more governments would take that approach, the world would be a much stupider place (but probably just as polluted).

Well, after huge controversy on Jay Z playing Glastonbury (some people couldn't handle the fact of a hip hop artist headlining), he tore the place apart with a storming set using a live band and a sackload of rock samples as backing for some of his classic rhymes. In fact the only other person who pulled even fewer punches was Amy Winehouse, who ended up right-hooking a fan who she thought had grabbed her beehive (and if you've ever been grabbed by the beehive, you know how nasty that is).

Amongst the crowd at The Pyramid Stage (look carefully!)

Oh look, I'm waving in this shot too.

The most normal man there.

I had reservations about this photo.

Flagtopia they call it. Clever.

Sometimes you've just got to stop and smell the painted wooden flowers.

In a panic. It's not raining today. Not prepared for that outcome.

Just before I got mistaken for Jamie Oliver.

For more Glastonbury freaks, check the photo gallery link below from the NME website. I thought I'd seen people wearing everything but the kitchen sink....and then during Amy Winehouse's set, a guy walked past with one on his head. At that point, you just have to realise that it's not ridiculous. It's just another day at Glastonbury.


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