I made an impulse buy of a $30 Elvis suit 3 weeks before leaving Australia in Jan 2008 to travel for a year.
It's crap....and now it's coming with me.
I don't sound like Elvis, look like Elvis, or sing like Elvis.
I am Crap Elvis.


World trip montage - Crap Elvis in 25 countries

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Couple of video clips from recent countries

OK - in Rio now. No long drawn out ramblings here (yet!!!!)...just managed to upload the Paraguay video which wouldn´t work before, so here it is:

Also, although it´s on youtube, Jason emailed me to tell me I hadn´t popped the Parkes Elvis Festival lookalike competition video up on the blog yet. So even tho a distant dodgy memory, here it is!...

OK, gotta go...I´ve got a very obvious photo to take in front of the stupidly big Jesus here. Post it soon of course!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Crap Elvis in Brazil - we partied, we got pickpocketed, we were popcorn...

(and I found Osama)

Well, still no decent net connection so will probably have to wait til I get to Rio to upload the videos from Paraguay and Brazil, but thought I should at least let you know what's been going on lately.

Salvador carnaval was MENTAL! 6 days of huge processions of massive trucks filled with bands and headblowingly loud soundsystems that the army would be proud to use as a weapon, and thousands of people following them dancing from around 2pm til 5am each day. If you wanted to officially follow one of these "blocos" you could pay up to a few hundred dollars to be inside the roped area which extends a couple of hundred metres before and after the truck. But 3cms on the other side of the rope, you could forego luxuries like security and safety and follow them anyway for bugger all, which was great for skanky budget travellers like ourselves. Our kind of tightfisted leeches are known as "pipoca" which is portuguese for "popcorn" - quite an apt term really seeing as I found myself stuck in various peoples cleavages from time to time.

(someone else's expensive view)

Of course wearing a crap Elvis suit pinned me as "not from these parts", but probably no more than the fact that I was a white European man in his 30s trying to samba amongst 3 million Brazilians, who have been dancing since they were a foetus.

(our cheap view...fatboy slim approaching)

Aside the amazing typical Brazilian carnaval bands and music, there were a couple of other massive electronica blocos - one featuring superstar DJ Tiesto from Holland, and Englands finest Fatboy Slim (joined by David Guetta). These both attracted enormous crowds following them as they whizzed along at a breathtaking 1km per hour. It was having lost all sensation of my body, and then regaining it after a particularly tightly squeezed crowd section that I realised I'd been pickpocketed. Fortunately in that unsafe pocket I only had a few dollars and my pocketbook of Paris Hilton's Meaning of Life...so nothing of value.

The other main feature of Carnaval is drinking. Back in Australia you can arrested for drinking in the street. In Salvador, I'm sure I saw someone getting arrested for not drinking in the street. The streets are packed with people walking around trying to sell you beer for a dollar, and who am I to appear rude enough to turn them away.

I have to ask you this though - is it wrong to buy beer from a 7 year old? Of course I did, but I'm really not sure he'd completed his "responsible alcohol servers" course - especially since I was upside down half way up a lampost with no shirt on, wearing a "spongebob squarepants" hat on my head while I ordered it. He certainly didn't ask for ID.

Needless to say, after Carnaval we needed rest...and a lot of it...so we spent around 12 hours on various buses heading down the coast to a tiny little surfy town called Itacare. A few days of lazing around in hammocks, chilling on beautiful beaches, surfing and listening to heaps of reggae bands did the trick. Well, at least until a street seller sold me some meat on a stick followed by cheese on a stick, which has now seen me into my 3rd day of my hourly tour of local public toilets of Arraial D'Ajuda (where we've been for the last few days). There's a lesson to be learnt there - too much reggae makes you ill.

Anyway, gotta pack for the 18 hour bus trip to Rio now. My girlfriend's going to hate "I spy" by the end of that one.

Thanks for all the email -keep it coming crapelvis@gmail.com

Also if you're on facebook, a friend of mine has set up a Crap Elvis Fan Club group here
Already at a pathetic 50 members, please feel free to join and contribute to its crappiness!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Crap Elvis goes Carnaval crazy in Salvador, Brazil

Just checking in quickly with a couple of piccys.
Here I am with some of the ¨Sons of Gandhi¨ - there´s actually about 5000 of them that parade in the Carnaval promoting peace and love.

Some people will wear any silly costume.

Where´s Elvis?

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Crap Elvis says bye bye Paraguay...hellllllllllllo Brazil

Well, currently in Salvador, Brazil for the world's biggest carnaval, but thought I better recap on the week just spent in South America's most corrupt country - Paraguay. A forced stop due to having to attend a wedding there, and one that was really quite crap for Crap-Elvising around.

Things I learnt in Paraguay:

No matter how much you persist, your girlfriend will never let you attend her brother's wedding dressed in a crap Elvis suit.

Men with big guns on almost every street corner prevent you from mucking around in a crap Elvis suit...even just a little bit.

Potholes in 18th centuryish suburban roads can be filled adequately with mangoes. (If London cockneys ever adopted this revolutionary renovation technique, they really could be going down the "apples and pears").

There is no such sport as Paraguay-ding. And no matter how funny the joke is in your head, trying to translate the explanation leaves everyone confused.

If you are jobless and tired with washing windscreens for loose change at traffic lights, simply do handstands, cartwheels, headstands and other acrobatics in front of the waiting cars instead. (Cirque de Soleil employees take note if you ever get made redundant).


All that said, it was a great experience being there, and again the people were very welcoming. I think they were amazed that people wanted to come to their country rather than leave it. Apart from just hanging around, we took a 2 day trip across the Brazilian border and then across the Argentinian border to Iguazu Falls - some of the most amazing waterfalls in the world, which border those 3 countries. The little Crap Elvis opportunities there were in Paraguay happened on that trip, so you'll find a bit of video just below here from there


Oh yeah, I also met a man who stole $6million from the Paraguayan government. He was an ex-politician. However, he used $1million of it to bribe judges, police and other officials to make the charges go away. So that was nice.

Anyway, as i feel a little bad for the lack of Crap Elvisness, I thought I'd share one of my favourite memories from Paraguay. The ad for one of their mobile phone companies. Brilliant! However, if you have any idea what it's all about, please email me.

Also, I was very concerned on my flight to Paraguay when I saw this sign on the back of the seat in front of me. I couldn´t sleep for the whole flight worrying about the live vest under my seat. Twice it grabbed me by the ankles and tried to pull me under, but fortunately I managed to wrestle free. Nasty.