I made an impulse buy of a $30 Elvis suit 3 weeks before leaving Australia in Jan 2008 to travel for a year.
It's crap....and now it's coming with me.
I don't sound like Elvis, look like Elvis, or sing like Elvis.
I am Crap Elvis.


World trip montage - Crap Elvis in 25 countries

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Crap Elvis says bye bye Paraguay...hellllllllllllo Brazil

Well, currently in Salvador, Brazil for the world's biggest carnaval, but thought I better recap on the week just spent in South America's most corrupt country - Paraguay. A forced stop due to having to attend a wedding there, and one that was really quite crap for Crap-Elvising around.

Things I learnt in Paraguay:

No matter how much you persist, your girlfriend will never let you attend her brother's wedding dressed in a crap Elvis suit.

Men with big guns on almost every street corner prevent you from mucking around in a crap Elvis suit...even just a little bit.

Potholes in 18th centuryish suburban roads can be filled adequately with mangoes. (If London cockneys ever adopted this revolutionary renovation technique, they really could be going down the "apples and pears").

There is no such sport as Paraguay-ding. And no matter how funny the joke is in your head, trying to translate the explanation leaves everyone confused.

If you are jobless and tired with washing windscreens for loose change at traffic lights, simply do handstands, cartwheels, headstands and other acrobatics in front of the waiting cars instead. (Cirque de Soleil employees take note if you ever get made redundant).


All that said, it was a great experience being there, and again the people were very welcoming. I think they were amazed that people wanted to come to their country rather than leave it. Apart from just hanging around, we took a 2 day trip across the Brazilian border and then across the Argentinian border to Iguazu Falls - some of the most amazing waterfalls in the world, which border those 3 countries. The little Crap Elvis opportunities there were in Paraguay happened on that trip, so you'll find a bit of video just below here from there


Oh yeah, I also met a man who stole $6million from the Paraguayan government. He was an ex-politician. However, he used $1million of it to bribe judges, police and other officials to make the charges go away. So that was nice.

Anyway, as i feel a little bad for the lack of Crap Elvisness, I thought I'd share one of my favourite memories from Paraguay. The ad for one of their mobile phone companies. Brilliant! However, if you have any idea what it's all about, please email me.

Also, I was very concerned on my flight to Paraguay when I saw this sign on the back of the seat in front of me. I couldn´t sleep for the whole flight worrying about the live vest under my seat. Twice it grabbed me by the ankles and tried to pull me under, but fortunately I managed to wrestle free. Nasty.

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