I made an impulse buy of a $30 Elvis suit 3 weeks before leaving Australia in Jan 2008 to travel for a year.
It's crap....and now it's coming with me.
I don't sound like Elvis, look like Elvis, or sing like Elvis.
I am Crap Elvis.


World trip montage - Crap Elvis in 25 countries

Friday, May 9, 2008

C.R.A.P in the U.S.A - hurricanes no longer the worst thing to hit Florida

When the travel agent said that to fly to Cancun (Mexico) from Lima (Peru) it would have to be via Miami, I thought it would be rude not to stop there for a week. And you know I hate to be rude.

First stop: South Beach, Miami

Having just come out of the Peruvian wilderness, this was a bigger culture shock than the day Victoria Beckham found out that "Cook Islands" is a place and not an extravagant recipe instruction.
Enough of the biggest, flashiest, sportiest, gas guzzling cars to give Al Gore 'An Inconvenient Heart Attack.' In fact they don´t have a ring road there, they have a bling road.
I think you get the point. But I loved it!

But it was strange that just an hour down the road, you could leave it all behind and jump in a park bench with a giant hairdryer on the back and cruise the Everglades looking for alligators. Every so often the driver would nonchalantly point one out just a couple of metres from the boat, so close that you could almost count the 80 sharp teeth staring up at you (which is approximately 79 more than what most of the local humans seemed to have).

"Houston...we have a problem"...

So then it was onto NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Orlando, where despite the thorough screening, bag searching, background check of your last 18 meals eaten etc, $29.95 worth of limp off-white polyester jumpsuit still made it through security. Their top scientists are still baffled as to how much sweat it can retain.

"Is that a 300 foot space rocket in your hangar or are you just pleased to see me?"

Actually I was thinking of putting fatter exhausts on it, having it lowered and installing a decent soundsystem, and taking it back down to South Beach, Miami for a few laps of the strip. That'll shut 'em up.

And of course no trip to Orlando is complete without a visit to Disneyworld...so I went to Universal Studios instead.

I bet those guys feels self-conscious in those ridiculous suits.

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