The US authorities had obviously called ahead and alerted the UK that I may be carrying a WMD (wig of mass distraction).
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Crap Elvis is OK in the UK
A quick photo blast for you since arriving in the UK a few days ago. No time for details so make your own captions up for now! Heading to Austria tomorrow for Euro 08 football action.
The US authorities had obviously called ahead and alerted the UK that I may be carrying a WMD (wig of mass distraction).
The US authorities had obviously called ahead and alerted the UK that I may be carrying a WMD (wig of mass distraction).
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Crap Elvis in New York - The Big Crapple
Well it all started off fairly normally (ie get to prime tourist spot wearing dodgy Elvis suit and bad wig) and the regulation photo was taken. Although no-one else seemed to appreciate the irony of the American authorities having now taken away the right to go up something called the Statue of Liberty.
..but then having weaved in and out of traffic at Times Square, my theory that I may be a "person of interest" (I was strangely singled out for the random check during each trip through customs - and you try finding a believable excuse for wearing this outfit. "Sorry officer, it's the only thing I had clean in the wardrobe") was strengthened with this interesting turn of events.
A man who likes to take his clothes off in public...and the Naked Cowboy.
Beer and baseball at Yankee stadium. I couldn't be living the American dream more if I was shooting someone in self defense, saying "have a nice day", holding a 3 quarter pounder burger, and placing a vote in Florida that wouldn't be counted.
Whilst riding the Subway, someone looked at me and then offered me the disabled seat.
Let's play Spot The Tourist
..but then having weaved in and out of traffic at Times Square, my theory that I may be a "person of interest" (I was strangely singled out for the random check during each trip through customs - and you try finding a believable excuse for wearing this outfit. "Sorry officer, it's the only thing I had clean in the wardrobe") was strengthened with this interesting turn of events.
A man who likes to take his clothes off in public...and the Naked Cowboy.
Beer and baseball at Yankee stadium. I couldn't be living the American dream more if I was shooting someone in self defense, saying "have a nice day", holding a 3 quarter pounder burger, and placing a vote in Florida that wouldn't be counted.
Whilst riding the Subway, someone looked at me and then offered me the disabled seat.
Let's play Spot The Tourist
Crap Elvis goes to Vegas and a big hole
They say "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". I stayed in Vegas, but I'm not sure if I happened. I'm so confused.
Yes, I gambled. A total of $7 and walked away with $11. I took on the casinos and beat them. I'm bringing down the house. They must have been on to me, coz they didn't comp me. Fortunately I got out before they dragged me off to the little unmarked room at the back.
How embarrasing - they both went out that night in the same dress...
It's a canyon, and it's grand. Up to that point I'd always been told that Adelaide was the biggest hole in the world.
Moments after the photo I threw him over the edge.
Yes, I gambled. A total of $7 and walked away with $11. I took on the casinos and beat them. I'm bringing down the house. They must have been on to me, coz they didn't comp me. Fortunately I got out before they dragged me off to the little unmarked room at the back.
How embarrasing - they both went out that night in the same dress...
It's a canyon, and it's grand. Up to that point I'd always been told that Adelaide was the biggest hole in the world.
Moments after the photo I threw him over the edge.
Crappy goes to Hollywood - Crap Elvis in LA
It was only a matter of time...
After finally finishing a few weeks in Mexico it was onto LA -out with the tacos, in with the tacky.
Finally somewhere I wouldn't look out of place. And the celebrity scene didn't disappoint with a sighting of Aussie movie star Guy Pearce just 2 hours after arriving (was in the queue behind him at The Roxy to see Russell Brand), and also singer kd lang and actor John Stamos popping up elsewhere - although originally I mistook kd lang for John Stamos, and John Stamos for kd Lang. I'm sure that happens all the time.
Outside Graumans Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, where lots of amazing lookalikes hang out. Apparently I wasn't seen as a threat.
Best thing I heard whilst hanging out outside the theatre was "That Elvis looks nothing like him, they're so much better in Vegas." I didn't feel the need to spoil their disappointment with an explanation.
Ooh, itchy wig.
Spent a couple of days in the gym to help the local team out.
Also spent some time in Sequoia National Park, home of the world's largest tree. The one below is called "The President." Although surely it would make more sense if "The President" was a bush.
Trees are evil, they make people do bad things.
After finally finishing a few weeks in Mexico it was onto LA -out with the tacos, in with the tacky.
Finally somewhere I wouldn't look out of place. And the celebrity scene didn't disappoint with a sighting of Aussie movie star Guy Pearce just 2 hours after arriving (was in the queue behind him at The Roxy to see Russell Brand), and also singer kd lang and actor John Stamos popping up elsewhere - although originally I mistook kd lang for John Stamos, and John Stamos for kd Lang. I'm sure that happens all the time.
Outside Graumans Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, where lots of amazing lookalikes hang out. Apparently I wasn't seen as a threat.
Best thing I heard whilst hanging out outside the theatre was "That Elvis looks nothing like him, they're so much better in Vegas." I didn't feel the need to spoil their disappointment with an explanation.
Ooh, itchy wig.
Spent a couple of days in the gym to help the local team out.
Also spent some time in Sequoia National Park, home of the world's largest tree. The one below is called "The President." Although surely it would make more sense if "The President" was a bush.
Trees are evil, they make people do bad things.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Crap Elvis gets to the point in Mexico (of another bloody pyramid)
OK, actually playing catch-up on the blog at the mo as have just arrived in the UK. But still have a few unaccounted weeks to post up here. So here's more from Mexico, then will try and whack the stuff from the US up in the next couple of days...please pretend you care.
Pssst...wanna buy a pyramid?
Well, I thought I'd seen the one "if you only see one historical site in Mexico, you must see this" historical site in Mexico, but by the time I got to the ancient city of Teotihuacan, it was already my third. However, people trying to justify me having to see it, kept pointing out that this one was built by the Aztecs as opposed to the Mayans. Well try explaining that to Arthur Ramsbottom, world spot-the-difference champion, who is still stumped. They're big, they're amazing, they look the same. Show me one built by the ancient Ikea-ans put together from a stadium sized flat pack with an allen key, and then I'll start getting interested.
One of the highlights of this day out was seeing the huge number of souvenir hawkers at the bases of the pyramids selling huge amounts of various pyramid keyrings, snowdomes (???), letter openers etc to archaeology buffs. After all, nothing captures the memory of these giant ancient monuments of history more than a 2 inch pyramid shaped plastic fridge magnet made in China.
Obviously I wasn't able to support the hawkers income, as pyramid marketing is illegal where I come from.
A few other random photos from around Mexico City:
Mexican taxi drivers still clinging onto their bid for the next Herbie movie to be made in the capital. Plus who needs flashy extras like air-conditioning, electric windows, and fully functioning brakes anyway?
A native Mexican healer practising his ancient art. I wish someone would have told me that before I asked for an autograph from what I thought was a member of Village People down on his luck. How awkward.
It was also in Mexico City I found that if the Crap Elvis thing ever falls in a heap, Crap Mexican Wrestler is easily attainable ("around the world in a 70 peso mask").
Some people claim the Lucha Libre (Mexican wrestling) is just a scripted show, but on the night we were there, there was an unexplained midget in a blue monkey outfit in one of the corners. Now why would any writer think that might be funny?!
With this video, you can be the judge. It's a clip I found on Youtube of a tribute to the above wrestling midget legend called Que Monito.
Pssst...wanna buy a pyramid?
Well, I thought I'd seen the one "if you only see one historical site in Mexico, you must see this" historical site in Mexico, but by the time I got to the ancient city of Teotihuacan, it was already my third. However, people trying to justify me having to see it, kept pointing out that this one was built by the Aztecs as opposed to the Mayans. Well try explaining that to Arthur Ramsbottom, world spot-the-difference champion, who is still stumped. They're big, they're amazing, they look the same. Show me one built by the ancient Ikea-ans put together from a stadium sized flat pack with an allen key, and then I'll start getting interested.
One of the highlights of this day out was seeing the huge number of souvenir hawkers at the bases of the pyramids selling huge amounts of various pyramid keyrings, snowdomes (???), letter openers etc to archaeology buffs. After all, nothing captures the memory of these giant ancient monuments of history more than a 2 inch pyramid shaped plastic fridge magnet made in China.
Obviously I wasn't able to support the hawkers income, as pyramid marketing is illegal where I come from.
A few other random photos from around Mexico City:
Mexican taxi drivers still clinging onto their bid for the next Herbie movie to be made in the capital. Plus who needs flashy extras like air-conditioning, electric windows, and fully functioning brakes anyway?
A native Mexican healer practising his ancient art. I wish someone would have told me that before I asked for an autograph from what I thought was a member of Village People down on his luck. How awkward.
It was also in Mexico City I found that if the Crap Elvis thing ever falls in a heap, Crap Mexican Wrestler is easily attainable ("around the world in a 70 peso mask").
Some people claim the Lucha Libre (Mexican wrestling) is just a scripted show, but on the night we were there, there was an unexplained midget in a blue monkey outfit in one of the corners. Now why would any writer think that might be funny?!
With this video, you can be the judge. It's a clip I found on Youtube of a tribute to the above wrestling midget legend called Que Monito.
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